Throughout much of my 20’s, I battled breast cancer. Chemotherapy and radiation impacted my body in ways I never expected, including effecting my vision. Beginning at age 28, my eyesight began to decline. First it was my color vision, then my depth perception. Doctors attributed my vision loss to a neurological disconnect; my brain was having problems communicating with my optic nerves. On January 3, 2012, I woke up and headed to my job as a social worker at a local school. Throughout the day, I developed a horrible headache. When I got home that afternoon, my husband instructed me to go straight to bed. I woke up a few hours later, unable to see anything. After visiting with my neuro-ophthalmologist, our worst fears had been realized, the doctor declared me legally blind.
Thrust into a much darker world, I went from social work practitioner to newly disabled client in need of services. I began receiving assistance from the NY Commission for the Blind. With months of training in technology, O&M (Orientation and Mobility) and ADL (Adult Daily Living) skills; I finally began to feel like I could confidently rejoin the land of the living with my trusty white cane by my side. That’s when doctors dropped another bombshell! Six months after losing my eyesight; I found out I was pregnant!
With the news of my pregnancy, I went from being an already awkward newly blind woman, to somewhat of a community oddity. Complete strangers interrogated me with questions. How are you going to take care of a baby? Who’s going to help you? Are you keeping it? People didn’t see Holly, the capable individual and the educated practitioner. It didn’t matter that I was married and had a stable, loving home. All people could focus on was my outwardly apparent disability and how my vision loss would render me incapable of being a good mother.
While those first few months of parenting were both physically and emotionally exhausting, I knew there had to be a way to show the world that even without eyesight; I was making it work. I created a blog, Blind Motherhood, to chronicle my parenting journey. I wanted the sighted community to open their minds to what they presumed to be impossible. I didn’t want people to fear my disability; I wanted them to see how I reached beyond it. Most importantly, I wanted people to stop seeing my family as disadvantaged; because we consider ourselves to be so very blessed.
Since its conception, Blind Motherhood has evolved into more than just a blog; it’s an online resource for individuals and their families who have been impacted by vision loss. Blind Motherhood’s mission is to demonstrate members of the blind & visually impaired community can parent safely, independently and effectively.
As the blind parent of two beautiful daughters; I want people to know I am a capable, competent mother. Sighted or blind, loving our children requires no “special accommodations.”
Holly Bonner is a Staten Island-based psychotherapist and Director of Education & Outreach for IlluminArt Productions. A wife and mother of two daughters, Holly became legally blind in 2012 after battling breast cancer. She navigates motherhood relying on help from modern technology, her guide dog, Frances, and her sixth sense provided by eyes in the back of her head! Her website, Blind Motherhood, chronicles her adventures in parenting and provides useful information for all mommies. Holly lives by the mantra that even without vision, you should “never lose sight of life, love and laughter.”
